Oh $&/% It Bit Me

Original Song: "Don't Let Me Get Me" by P!nk

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Want a calm place
Right next to a cool stream
I need a vacation where the land is fresh and green
Have a cup of tea
Under a willow tree
Gonna stay here out of sight 'til I get my head on right

In the grass I see an insect crawling nearer
With segmented eyeballs staring up at me
It's a hairy jumping bug

Oh $&/% it bit me
Got a puncture on my knee
Pestilential happenstance
So irritating
It's turning black and really sore
I need to call an ambulance

I need to call an ambulance
Yeah

L.A.'s tranquil, here at the Zen park
There's a mountain range and twittering skylarks
Sitting in a lawn chair, I'll just relax here
It's so pretty, like a calm sea

Doctor doctor you said "go commune with nature -
It's better than tranquilizing drugs"
But there's an evil-looking bug

Oh $&/% it bit me
Wish I had some DDT
Stop its taunting vict'ry dance
So aggravating
Can't even feel my toes no more
I need to call an ambulance

(Ow) Again it bit me
(It's throbbing) And I'm screaming OMG
(I'm) Showing zero tolerance
So now I'm stomping
And once it meets its insect lord
I need to call an ambulance

Doctor doctor why'd you send me to the country
A day in the midst of insect hell
Oh $&/% it bit me

(I) shoulda got some Raid implants
(Ow) Oh $&/% it bit me
Like a rabid mutant flea
And it got inside my pants (my pants)
It's masticating (Excruciating)
It had to be a carnivore (ow)
I need to call an ambulance

Oh $&/% it bit me
As I look around I see
There's a million fire ants
(It's bad, it's so bad) They're congregating
The Hexapoda are at war
I need to call the Orkin man

Oh $&/% it bit me
Oh $&/% it bit me