The Internet (Is Good To Me)

Original Song: "Baby Grand" by Billy Joel

Parody Performed By: Skip Briggs

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Late at night when it's cold and dark
I reach out for Twitter and Fark
On my phone, on my tablet
Anytime, there's an applet I can get
The internet is all I need

I can surf to almost anywhere
Around the world, sitting nude in my chair
What the heck, don't give a damn
Wait a sec, why'd my webcam light turn red?
The internet is watching me

I have friends, if just virtually
I have fame, anonymously
I have fortunes in my online games
As for women, there's lots of dames, t-shirts wet
On the internet, for me to see

They say the NSA is watching as we browse around
They say that online privacy is dead and gone
But I use nine or ten
Encrypted V.P.N.'s
So I'll continue trolling on

Though there's spam and selfies and lolcats
And all the scams, still it's swell and all that
From my home, through the wire
I can roam, Lincolnshire to Tibet
The internet is there for me

Though there's viruses I get
The internet's been good to me