A World Without Gyros

Original Song: "A World Without Heroes" by Cher

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A world without gyros
Would be a son of a... gun
There ain't no Greek-y sandwich fun
Without gyros

And a world without gyros
Is just a bunch of tasteless dross
Without a good tzatziki sauce
We might as well be eating moss

So I order up a pita
With tomato, onion too
And a giant heap of myst'ry meat
In the heart of my gyro

I take mine to extremes
Adding spuds and sour cream
And a world without gyros
Would be a horrible thing
Like a pong without a ping
Or like Wayne without his "schwing!"*

And the gods up on Olympus
Want some gyros of their own
Ambrosia's great, but gyros sate

When I'm looking for a gyro
Then I use a gyro-scope
To help me spy Aegean pie

(is it lamb? is it Spam?)

It's a case of gyro worship
And I watch it on the spit
Go 'round and 'round til it is browned

(cone of meat can't be beat)

Can I get 'em all delivered
Via gyro-copter now
Just fly 'em here to bring me cheer

(And don't stop the air drop)

And I'm holding out for (a) gyro**
Just like Bonnie Tyler did
She likes to eat that spicy meat

(don't be meek, just go Greek)


* You do remember "Wayne's World", right? It hasn't been that long since it was in the theatres...let's see...it premiered in...um...1992. Egad.
** You do remember Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out For A Hero", right? It hasn't been that long since it was on the charts...let's see...in...um...1984. Gadzooks.