Blackwater

Parody Performed By: Gary Hermann

Original Song: "Blackwater" by The Doobie Brothers

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Blackwater (then Xe, then Academi) has had many complaints against it, and on April 16, 2010, five officials at Xe were indicted on felony weapons charges.

Well, the Pentagon acted without any votin'
From Carolina, the soldiers all came
Hazardous duty for country and booty
Blackwater was hopin' to win some acclaim

Go Blackwater, on patrol now
Mercenary guns keepin' people safe in Iraq
Whoa Blackwater, on the dole now
Half a million bucks for a guard just seems out of whack
So Blackwater, what's your role now
Thought it was defense but your people like to attack
Yeah, bang bang stop or I'll shoot
Everything's turnin' out, in Fallujah
Turnin' out sorta like Beirut
But you just keep on warring, 'cause the money keeps pouring on in

You've got a license to kill, Iraqi season has begun
You learned to shoot from Dick Cheney himself
Yeah, you down a dozen beers, pick up your gun, and aim it all about
And then you fire 'til somebody gives a shout

Go Blackwater, keep on brawlin'
Use a hand grenade on whoever gives you some sass
Whoa Blackwater, now you're stallin'
Congress wants to know how you're spendin' all of your cash
So Blackwater, who you callin'
Someone told the State Department to give you a pass
Now they say you're immune
Gonna get off scott free, everybody
Gonna whistle a happy tune
You're Iraq-ing and rolling, and ignoring the polling back home

And now I hear that once Iraq is done
Gonna put 'em on the border here at home
Gonna guard (guard) gonna guard the Mexico border
Gonna watch senoritas all night long

And now I hear that once Iraq is done
Gonna put 'em on the border here at home
Gonna guard (guard) gonna guard the Canada border
Gonna shoot anything that's in a toque

And now I hear that once Iraq is done
Gonna put 'em on the border here at home
Gonna guard (guard) gonna guard the Mexico border
Gonna slam down cerveza all day long

And now I hear that once Iraq is done
Gonna put 'em on the border here at home
Gonna guard (guard) gonna guard the Canada border
Gonna block all those pompous hockey fans

And now I hear that once Iraq is done
Gonna put 'em on the border here at home
Gonna guard (guard) gonna guard the Mexico border
Gonna fill up the Rio Grande with sharks

And now I hear that once Iraq is done
Gonna put 'em on the border here at home
Gonna guard (guard) gonna guard the Canada border
Gonna torture whoever's talking French